Saturday, May 4, 2013

Obligatory Mothers Day Lamentations

There's lot of chatter on the Infertility Boards about the way ladies handle Mothers Day. We all know what they say about the best laid plans, so here's a realistic prediction of how May 12th will play out for me.

Pick a fight with my husband - forecast says 98% probability.

Spend lots of time hugging my dogs and pretending that they love me like an actual real mother -100% chance although not much different from any other day of the week. 

Eat lots of chocolate and comfort foods "because it's a special day" - 95% with a chance that fight with husband will decrease appetite in afternoon.

Be disgusted by girls who I used to babysit for posting pictures on Facebook of what their stupid kids made them at stupid daycare - 75% chance, I'll tell myself to stay off Facebook but by around 11am we'll see a bought of boredom that will force peeking.

Feel the disappointment oozing from my mother that I'm not giving her a granddaughter for Mother's Day - 90% although I could always get her drunk and just have her tell me. 

Go home from Mom's house feeling sadder and worse than ever - 99% with a chance of it increasing if I see all of my neighborhood pals at their parents' houses with their cute little kids. 

Snap or have breakdown upon reading sarcastic ecards about how horrible motherhood is or how "lucky" I am to be childless- 75% chance with a caveat that I will cut the bitch who dares to say this to me on Sunday. 

**Edit** just found out that ABC Family will be playing Harry Potter marathon this weekend - thank you, TV gods. 110% chance I will be self-soothing with these movies. 

I'd love to hear your plans; if the day bothers you or doesn't mean much. I'd also really enjoy what your predictions are for "keeping it together" and how you plan to cope. 

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