Thursday, July 25, 2013

You're Young!

The two women outside of my marriage who know about our struggles and IVF have both said to me this week "well, at least you're young still" as a response to my ordeals with my husband's lack of sperm and my anxiety about not moving forward and desire to not waste any more time. Both of said women have had successful IVF pregnancies so what the actual fuck? 

I'm 30, that is not that young, particularly when you've been TTC for FOUR years already (I swear to baby Jesus this shit puts the aging process into double time). Both women were older when they got pregnant so is this just another case of "infertility pain Olympics"? A little it of condescension for my woes as a "fuck you" because I didn't wait even longer to try for a baby? If we're going to get out a pad and paper and tally shit up, I've been trying much longer than both of them did before they had successful pregnancies. 

I know deep down that neither person caused malice. I've heard "you're young" over and over from my RE and his colleagues but they have to say reassuring bullshit. Why can't, just for once, it be ok for someone to say "you're having a real shit time, I'm sorry"?

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